Bathroom cabinets of the rich & famous No.6:
Huey from Fun Lovin' Criminals

Loaded – March 2001

Huey Morgan may not be renowned for immaculate preening, but with former squeezes including Cat Deeley and Nicole Appleton, he must be doing something right. Currently appearing in the new Miller TV commercial ("a dream come true – we've been drinking it since we were kids"), card-carrying loaded fan Huey takes time out to share the tricks of his trade.

"My routine is your basic shit, shower, shave. That's my Marine training. I wet shave with a straight razor – which also serves as a weapon in close quarters – and follow with Kiehl's moisturiser and Old Spice after-shave. I don't wear cologne, I think that's ridiculous. A man should smell like a man. We travel constantly so I pack light. I need my Aloe Vera and I never leave home without a first aid kit because, y'know, I don't suffer fools too well and you never know when you're gonna get punched in the chops. I'll also pack a Mach 3, because you can't get a straight razor through customs without being accused of murdering children or something. I don't find travelling tough on my body… put it this way, my pharmacist is very good to me [laughs]. I'm pretty sedated whenever you see me out. I cut my hair with clippers. It's one of my things, y'know – I'll wake up at four in the morning and think, 'Damn, I've got to shave my head' – and I'll get up and leave the bathroom full of hair. I was just in Hawaii for a couple of months and I let it grow, but then I had to do the whole gel thing and it just kills me. I've gone a little grey in parts, but I'm proud of that. Everything you experience adds up to the cumulative moment where you are now. There's an old Navy Seal term, 'The only easy day is yesterday.' It keeps things in perspective.

"Marine training is harsh. You get up really early, you run around, you get dirty, you run around some more, they give you a little piece of food and then you run around some more, and go to the bathroom in front of other guys, which is a real pain in the ass. Not literally. Since then I've kicked back a little, without letting myself go completely. I live in Manhattan and there are a lot of guys who are obsessed with keeping in shape, but you're getting older anyway – it's gonna happen no matter what. Instead I practise martial arts. I love Bruce Lee, and he believed in mixing styles according to what your body does well, so that's what I try to do. You could say it's an eclectic fighting style. I get far more enjoyment out of that than I could in some gym. I don't use it to win fights, though. Tough guys don't fight. They have nothing to prove.

"Grooming tips? Basically I'd say you gotta wash yourself with soap. I know guys don't really like to take their time, but bottom line, you smell good after a shower so you gotta do it. I recommend Lever 2000, a cheap supermarket soap [not available in the UK] which doesn't make you smell funny or leave you dry. But I don't like the girly-smelling stuff – and I can see why guys don't wanna smell like that, but not to the extent of not washing. Cleanliness is next to godliness. I bath and shower. I've got a cool little bathroom in my house with a Jacuzzi and a jet thing, and I'll read a book and then my dog will come in and try to drink the bathwater. It's cool.

"We never wear make-up on TV and videos. We try to avoid all that. I think the fact that we look like everybody else makes people feel at ease with us – let's face it, I'm never gonna walk into a room and have people gasp, that's never gonna happen. Last week they opened up a Madame Tusssaud's in Manhattan and there's a figure of me there – of course, no one knew who I was, but it kinda souped me up a little. Anyway, when I walked over to see it up close, it had a big busted bloodvessel under my eye. The goddam wax people had kept it in! Ivana Trump was flawless. But you know what? Actually, that's cool. We are 100 percent human beings. Thank God, because that's all I can deliver at this point."