Guitarist and frontman with the Fun Lovin' Criminals. Exudes the suss and streetsmarts of Pacino in Serpico or De Niro in Mean Streets. Even in his slobaround clothes, with hair akinbo, the man radiates
the kind of fast-talking Elvis/Sinatra post-war masculinity that could charm the knickers of a nun. Huey's spent half his life talking his way out of jams in the joint, the Marines and on the streets of Noo Yawk, so
even his most casual speech comes packaged as Scorcesean dinner-table banter. He's the kind of twinkle-eyed hoodlum you could bring home to your mother – years in the service have taught him to say "sir" and "ma'am" and
not to take a man's last cigarette.
Fast: FLC bassist/trumpeter/keyboardist.
Mackie:
Tough-looking drummer, possibly of Asian/American extraction. Recently replaced original beatkeeper Steve Borovini. Came to the Criminals after tenures with hardcore outfits like Cro-Mags, Bad Brains and Shelter.
The Attorney: Tour DJ
Michael: Tour Manager
Suzie Shorten: Promotions executive with Hot Press magazine.
The Reporter: Here to interview Huey.
Winston: A dude
Fisty:
Another dude
Man With No Name.Introductory Sequence
Int. Day.
(The camera – hand held 8mm of course – follows Suzie, The Reporter and Michael through the
labyrinthine corridors of the Olympia Theatre's backstage area, until they halt outside the Fun Lovin' Criminals dressing room. The tour manager goes inside, and the other two wait.)
Voiceover:
The Fun Lovin' Criminals, a rock/hip-hop combo from New Your City, are huge in europe, lesser known in their native country. Their sound is a combination of hip-hop, loungecore, metal, jazz, blues and just about any other genre you care to mention. But behind all the sampling and scratching, FLC are still devoted to principles of musicianship, showmanship and the song. On their two albums,
Come Find Yourself and 100% Columbian, the band have delivered razor sharp observations of the underbelly of New York, simultaneously lampooning and celebrating hood culture. Their non-musical appeal is
based on the kind of furry-freak-brother marijuana camaraderie shared by other acts such as Cypress Hill and The Black Crowes, but made suave by the sort of post-Swingers
Rat Pack gangster chic. That Howard Marks is one of their heroes should sum it up: this is a band with a history of soft drugs, criminals records and a smoke-warped sense of humour.
The Fun Lovin'
Criminals are in Dublin to start a four-night residency in the Olympia Theatre, on the last leg of a tour which started almost nine months ago. They are disproportionately popular in Ireland, as is borne out by the
sell-out shows, the amount of friends they have in the city, and the women baying outside Huey's door. In an era of laptops, personal trainers, macrobiotic cooks, spiritual advisors and Bob Roberts-type touring
campaigns, the Criminals are one of the few acts still flying the freak flag for rock 'n' roll outlawry. Their backstage set-up, while efficient, reminds one of the kind of bedouin camp ambience The Stones or Hendrix
might've favoured in their heyday.
Credit Sequence
(To the tune of 'Big Night Out')
Scene 1: How's the crack?
Int. Day. The band's dressing room.
(The room is stocked with racks of stage clothing, munchies, alchoholic beverages, soft drinks and cigarettes. Huey Morgan is sitting by the wall, fooling with a crack-pipe/bong apparatus, a kind of mini
goldfish bowl with toking attachment. He's a little stoned, congenial, good-humoured. Michael has just introduced Suzie and The Reporter. The smell of testosterone is thick in the room, and everything's a routine.
Think Goodfellas-meets-Don't Look Back, directed by Spike Lee.)
Huey: Do you mind if my attorney's present during this?
Reporter:
No I've got mine outside. You might know him. He's this Lithuanian dwarf guy.
Huey: Oh yeah? I think we've heard of him. What's his name?
Reporter: Zeke.
Huey:
Zeke the Lithuanian dwarf? (Turns to Attorney). I think we know that guy, right?
Attorney: Yeah, yeah, I've heard of that guy.
Huey: Bring him on in.
(Suzie hands
Huey an invitation to the launch of Hot Press photographer Cathal Dawson's exhibition, taking place just around the corner in the Temple Bar Music Centre. The pass is adorned with a Hot Press cover shot of Noel
Gallagher.)
Huey: Is that Noel?
Suzie: It is indeed.
Huey: He actually looks quite handsome once he covers most of his face up. (Laughter.)
Suzie: I'll see you down there, okay?
Huey: Take care. God bless.
(Exit Suzie.)
Reporter: We don't have much time, so I'll get started.
Huey:
Fire away.
Reporter: Okay, what about this film you've written, Taxi Ride?
Huey:
Yeah, but I dunno if that's the thing, 'cos you got Taxi Driver, Taxi Ride, the Robert De Niro connection, maybe that's not the best title. But it does have to do with a dead rock star, his widow, a mad scientist and a time machine that is made out of a New York city cab.
Reporter: Is this really going to happen?
Huey: Well, I believe it will. With all the money that these people gave us to do this, if we don't they're gonna come after us.
Reporter: Christoper Walken's in it?
Huey:
No, I dunno how that got in there. I might've been drunk talkin' shit really, that's probably how that happened. If anything I'd like to see if Laurence Fishburne could be in it.
Reporter:
You've don't a movie with him already.
Huey:
Yeah, he wrote and directed this movie called Once In A Life, and I got a small part playin' like a Puerto Rican drug dealer. Which is really a big stretch for me, but I managed somehow. My thespiatic (sic) research pretty much includes, you know, life experience. If they had asked me to do something I'd never done, I probably would not be very good at it. I mean, that's my guess. But if they give me the money up front, I don't see why I wouldn't try it. (To attorney.) Good idea, right?
Attorney: As long as the money's up front.
Reporter: As a former serviceman, what's your take on the current crisis in Kosovo?
Huey:
Well, you know, I can't pretend to understand the dynamic, or what's going on with those crazy bastards over there, but I do know one thing, that they're killin' people cos of what they are, not who they are. So I think fundamentally that's wrong. But at the end of the day, what we're gonna have to do is take these people in. I dunno, there was some talk, they're gonna bring some refugees over to England and Germany, the United States, so I guess what we should do is not make fun of the way they talk, don't break their balls 'cos they already had it rough, and give 'em a shot, have 'em come and try be part of the free world there, y'know?
Reporter: The refugee situation has been a real bone of contention here in the last two years – we never had any racial problems before, because we never had any races.
Huey:
You're a dark-haired Irishman! You're a blonde Irishman!
Reporter: The race thing is pertinent to the Fun Lovin' Criminals, because magazines like Rolling Stone
have been trying to lump you in with this whole white rap thing, Eninem and Everlast and so on.
Huey:
The way we are in the United States is a lot different. Like, if you seen us play or you know our music, you know we're kind of like a band. And it's a lot of our record company and people who are trying to help
us, who are trying to get us included with these other people, 'cos they happen to sell records. That's cool I guess. But if you listen to like, an Everlast record, then you listen to our record, there's a lot of
difference goin' on. I think he's probably the best out of that whole lot, the Sugar Rays and… they just might as well become Boyzone Mach 2000, they have that one song and sell ten million records, people know 'em and
that's their deal.
Reporter: What do you make of Eninem?
Huey:
Well it's not his fault he was born white. I heard that one song. I thought it was kind of funny because all the bad things were bleeped out, but then when I heard the album version, I'' like, ''his guy is talkin''a lotta shit'' I guess you gotta have, y'know, who was that guy, GG Allen, remember that guy? He was some sick guy in New York, he used to like do bizarre things,
horrible
malicious things to the audience. He'd sexually assualt members of the audience, be thrown in jail, he was just awful, people would beat the hell out of him with bats on stage, he was just the worse guy ever. And he was like, I guess what Eninem is aspiring to be, if Eninem didn't care that he got his nose broke every show.
Reporter: You're pretty big in Europe, yet when you get home, nobody knows who the hell you are. How does that feel?
Huey:
It's cool. To be honset with you, it's cool. I mean, if we were popular in the United States, I don't think I'd have any kind of like, safe zone. Everybody knows me in New York as Huey who used to work at The LimeLight, not like, 'Huey, oh he's in that band'. So it's kinda cool with me.
Reporter: Do you become a different kind of person over here?
Huey:
The only thing I did recently, 'cos I was kinda forced to, was I just changed my name in hotels. I never did that before, I didn't think I had to, and next thing you know, you open your door and it's like (makes noise of cameras flashing), and you're like, 'Wow, what the fuck?!!' It's somehting that's bizarre. I mean I don't act any differently, I'm like, walkin' out with everybody, it's not like I got security people with me or anything like that, but it gets weird when you got people comin' to your door and stuff. That's the only thing I had to do.
Reporter: And then if you're so much as seen at a table with somebody, you're dating.
Huey: Oh yeah, yeah… well, it works sometimes! Ha ha ha!
(Enter Mackie)
Huey (to reporter):
So, you want some crack wit' us? (Turns attentions to pipe, and pours bowl of "crack", which looks suspiciously like granulated sugar, onto an album sleeve.) Mackie, I'm scandalising myself! Have you met Mackie?
Reporter: Hi. (Shakes hands.)
Mackie: Hi, how are you? (To Huey.) You should bring this shit (indicating crackpipe) out on stage for the Scarface
scene. That was the other thing! We got the phone ringin'…
Huey:
…now we just gotta get the freebase goin! (To reporter.) We do this thing on stage now, Huey's Acting School, and we take a scene from a favourite movie and re-enact it on stage, and this week's movie is Scarface
.
(Enters Fast, who takes a look at Huey's pile of "crack" on the record sleeve.)
Fast: Let me get my record, man.
Huey: What am I gonna do with all my sheeeut!
Fast: What is that, man, sugar?
Huey:
Naw. Yeah. (Chuckles, obviously stoned now.) Naw-yeah. (Uncontrollable giggling.) Alright, well, yo, I gotta put this back in the sugar bowl to make some tequila drinks later. (Tries to put sugar back in bowl and ends up spilling it everywhere.) Look what God just did to us!!!
Attorney: You did it, you fuckin' narc!
Fast: You got that blue lighter?
Huey: I betcha you got my blue lighter.
Fast: Me? Naw.
Mackie: My suit's here, right?
Huey: I got your black suite, I put it in the dry-cleaner. The pin-stripe one?
Mackie: Yeah.
Fast:
I got your blue lighter right here.
Reporter (Sensing things are getting out of hand): How do you deal with customs when you're in Europe?
Huey:
You mean just getting' dry-cleaning done and shit? Well you see, everybody got like ten shirts and three or four suits.
Reporter: I talking about transporting your smoke.
Huey:
Oh, that's stuff's easy. You just call ahead. To be quite honest, you can just roll around, everybody knows you're in a band, they all know you got your shit on board. But then you're not trafficking shit,
'personal use' they call it, right? And we have friends in Ireland and England, so everything works out alright.
Reporter: With your reputation, don't you get particular attention from the law?
Huey:
Yeah, yeah, the French really come after us. And also, we cruise around in a bright purple tour bus too. You can't miss this fuckin' thing! You'd pull it over just to see who's inside it! We were actually making fun of the French border guards' guns last time they came on board. We were like, 'Revolvers?!!' They're born with their hands up, the whole lot of 'em. Those guys'd be speaking German if it wasn't for the United States Marine Corps and the Royal Marines, you know what I'm sayin'? I know that's rough, but it's true. It's a beautiful country if you don't have to stay there. If you can stay in Paris, it's nice.
Reporter: Does all the travelling agree with you?
Huey: He (indicating Fast) loves it, man. He can't get enough, cos he can go all over the world and get Star Wars stuff. Actually, the touring
will stop this coming May 19th so we can watch Episode 1. We'll have top camp out, isn't that right Fast?
Fast: (Mumbles)
Huey: Thanks for, uh, interjecting
that, bro. He's a good kid. We're trying to talk about Star Wars, you walk outta the room. Bollocks on your Star Wars!
Fast: I wasn't talkin' about it!
(Enter man with no name, bearing record sleeve held horizontal with block of hash on top.)
Scene 2: Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
Int. Day. The same dressing room, 10 minutes later…
Reporter: You're famous for looking sharp. What's your p